Chuck Norris Can't Die, and Other Memes

WASHINGTON - Rezul -- While most of the reports of Chuck Morris' death have focused on his career as a martial artist and tough guy movie and TV star, he leaves behind another virtually unique legacy - a list of impossible feats - memes - he was nevertheless said to be able to perform.

His followers are reacting to his reported death by claiming that: he just decided to visit heaven; heaven politely asked him if they could join; it's only because he ran out of people to fight, so he had to go to the afterlife to fight the people he already killed; Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience;  and he just became too powerful for his human form.

Reportedly Norris can dribble bowling balls; count to infinity twice; slam a revolving door; divide by infinity; make onions cry; hear sign language; speak in Braille; unscramble an egg; lost his virginity before his father; once killed two stones with one bird; and can text using a rotary phone.

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Also, ghosts sit around the campfire telling Chuck Norris stories; once aliens tried to abduct Chuck Norris and their bodies are stored at Area 51; Chuck Norris once gave a horse an uppercut and now we have giraffes; Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test and the machine confessed everything; and Chuck Norris doesn't have to flush the toilet because he just scares the crap out of it

Once a street was named after Chuck but after a minute it got its original name back because no one crosses Chuck Norris.

But one man may have crossed Chuck Morris and gotten away with it.

Almost a year ago, public interest law professor posted (https://x.com/ProfBanzhaf/status/1933905319849062729) the following:

"Chuck Norris can dibble bowling balls, count to infinity twice, slam a revolving door, divide by infinity, and much more.
Here's another impossible event!"

Below that text he posted a picture of a T-shirt, available on Amazon and elsewhere, which read:

"Chuck Norris Sued John Banzhaf . . . and won."

http://banzhaf.net/   jbanzhaf3ATgmail.com   @profbanzhaf